Now that 2010 is officially here and my classes are in full swing I have decided to publish a Statement of Intent for my ‘Learning to Lead’ class right here for the world to see. All of my previous blog entries have been a review of events in my life and I have succeeded at completely eliminating the true emotional attachment that I had to those activities. Those activities have not only provided me with excitement, but most of those were also coupled with feelings of anxiousness! For this, I apologize and promise to blog in a way that shows the true me – an anxious and excited 23 year old who wants to start a business.

I have learned in my MBA program that leaders are most effective when they reveal their humanity by being both logical and emotional. As a female I always thought that expressing emotions was a bad thing and that it would set me apart from ‘being one of the guys’. However, I am reconsidering that worldview thanks to material discussed in class. It turns out I am not a super-human who deflects bullets of hardship with steel body armor. I now feel that showing vulnerability will allow me to connect more with others.

I admit that I am quite adept at hiding behind my hardened logical exterior. This is not something I am proud of and I hope to spend the next few weeks figuring out the person I want to become. I want to become more reasonable and more comfortable with expressing my emotions while acting fairly and garnering respect. I recently read a Middle-Eastern mystic from John C. Maxwell’s book ‘Developing the Leader Within You’ that has stuck with me enough to discuss it at a bar last Saturday night. The quote goes:

I was a revolutionary when I was young and all my prayer to God was:

‘Lord, give me the energy to change the world.’ As I approached middle age and realized that my life was half gone without my changing a single soul, I changed my prayer to: ‘Lord, give me the grace to change all those who come into contact with me, just my family and friends, and I shall be satisfied.’ Now that I am an old man and my days are numbered, I have begun to see how foolish I have been. My one prayer now is: ‘Lord, give me the grace to change myself.’1

This quote has been the cause for some deep-thinking sessions. I intend to change myself as much as I can to become a better leader while also surrounding myself with others who can help compensate for my shortcomings. For example, I sometimes get ‘in the zone’ and focus on small details while inadvertently ignoring my surroundings. If I am always ‘in the zone’ I will not be able to lead others effectively. When I am one day running a business, I will be responsible for the culture and the vibe of the company. I want it to be a hardworking and fun place where I can help lead others! My mission is to balance my time of being ‘in the zone’ with being a creative and free-spirited goofball. I am also actively compensating for this by spending time with my friend and business partner Taylor. Calling her a social butterfly is an understatement. I am learning to effectively manage my time while letting Taylor create a fun atmosphere in my absence.

In addition to changing myself, I want to learn more about maximizing the effectiveness of all personality types. Obtaining an MBA will help me become self-aware enough to recognize the needs of my company and hire people with diverse strengths. An MBA will help me to gain the confidence and leadership skills necessary to create a successful organization built on acceptance, innovation, and integrity.

So, with a promise of more emotional blogs, I hope you all have a good week!


Works Cited

1Maxwell, John C.. Developing the Leader Within You. Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson, Inc., 1993.